I believe...

I believe in a loving Heavenly Father, I know there is a God,  I believe in the power of prayer and fasting, I have faith, I believe trials make us stronger, I believe we are never alone and I believe in miracles!

I know my story of infertility is like many others.  I know many who struggle and are still struggling.   Knowing this does not make it easier to go through or understand.  What it has done is helped me understand the pain of others who struggle with infertility. I don't wish it upon anyone and my heart aches for those struggling!  

Through the many months and years of disappointment I have gained an understanding about faith...but not having  faith in my desired outcome, but having faith Heavenly Father is in charge and has a specific plan for me.  That was really hard at times to accept...that what I wanted  and what I thought was right...may not be the outcome, but I still needed to have faith in Him and his plan.

I learned I had truly married my best friend and no matter what happened in the end, whether I could or could not get pregnant, he still loved me unconditionally and would always be by my side.  I feel we grew closer and our love has grown stronger.  I am so grateful for my loving husband!

I learned we have amazing friends and family who were constantly praying and fasting in our behalf and who also love us unconditionally.  I am so grateful for  all of them. Family truly is EVERYTHING!

To share a little of our journey, after a year with no luck, I went to  my OB.  The doctor put me on Clomid for 6 months.  With no luck, we were referred to the University of Utah Reproductive Medicine where we met Dr Petersen.  He and his staff were always hopeful and were another blessing in our journey.  We are so grateful for them.   We started off with many tests  and procedures including AI ( Artificial Insemination).  After 4 failed attempts my light at the end of the tunnel of becoming pregnant was getting very dim and the realization of not ever getting pregnant was becoming more real.  I was heart broken.  I went through every emotion possible...bitterness, anger, sad, mad, frustrated and just feeling broken.  It was so hard for me to understand why it was so hard to do something that was so right.  I have learned my whole life the importance of family and here we are trying to do what is right and start a family and we can't.  It was so frustrating!  

Spencer and I had multiple tests done and everything seemed to be "normal."  Our last chance was IVF (in vitro fertilization).  Dr. Petersen had me get one more blood test to check my AMH (anti- mullerian hormone) which determines how many eggs you have in reserve.  With all the other tests coming back normal I went in thinking this test would be the same.  We got the results back and found out I have low egg reserve.  Severely low!  Meaning I have an egg reserve of a 50 year old and I am 30. I was really beginning  to loose hope!  Dr. Petersen told us we would have to start IVF as soon as possible and I would be on the highest dosage of meds possible to see if or how many eggs we could get in retrieval.  I was on up to 5 injections a day and ended up having to be on it longer then originally thought.  My body was not responding like they thought it would.

It was finally time for egg retrieval and Dr. Petersen was hopeful we would get eight to nine eggs, which for me was good.  Most women usually get up to 15 to 20 eggs in egg retrieval.  The doctor told us that only half the eggs would make it, which is normal for anyone.  So we were hoping to get eight or nine eggs...have at least four make it, transfer two and freeze two.

Well June 30th was the big day.  I went and the doctor sedated me.  I eventually woke up only to overhear the nurse talking to Spencer telling him there was only 3 eggs!!!  I was still out of it but tried to ask questions.  I was devastated!!! How could there have only been 3??  Our chances of ONE egg making it, being healthy and fertilizing were very small.  I went home sobbing.  I remember coming  home and falling asleep from the anesthesia and waking myself up in my sleep sobbing, I felt completely  broken and lost.   I was probably at one of the saddest, lowest times of my life.  But it was also one of the most spiritual times of my life.  I remember thinking, only 3 eggs, how could there only be 3?  And a voice clear as day said to me, "Michelle, be grateful you got three, be grateful for what you have!"  I remember feeling my  loving Heavenly Father wrap his arms around me!  I knew he was there, I knew he had not forgotten about me and I knew it was a miracle I got three eggs and I needed to be grateful!

We had to wait a few days to hear back from the infertility lab to see if any of the eggs were healthy and if any fertilized.  We got the call...out of the three eggs, one was immature and the other two matured and both of them fertilized, yet another miracle!

July 3rd, they transferred the two little embryos.  The two little miracles.  After a week on bed rest and a very long two week wait, we found out another miracle...  We are pregnant with one little miracle baby.  One complete miracle that beat the odds!!!  We were beyond thrilled!  I still thank my Heavenly Father every night for the miracle it is to be pregnant.  We are so grateful!

Every pregnancy truly is  a miracle but for us it's the biggest miracle of them all!

I believe in a loving Heavenly Father, I know there is a God, I believe in the power of prayer and fasting, I have faith, I believe that trials make you stronger, I believe we are never alone and I believe in miracles!  I believe in miracles!!

Would I still believe if it had not of worked, YES!  Through this trial my testimony has been strengthened, my faith has increased and my love and relationship with my Heavenly Father is stronger!

Baby Marchant coming March 2014!